Sugarfree Lovers

August 21, 2010


Pain is increasing. I see my mom walking next to my stretcher. She is telling me that everything will be alright. I am not able to bear the pain and I shout.

“Aauch… Dadi ma it’s hurting” I am 8 and my grandmother is pinching my ear for playing football with boys in my colony. She thinks I should not play outdoor games, if I fall and get marks on my body then no one will marry me.

They have changed me into an open gown and now taking me to the labour room. I am crying in pain.

I am sitting in the garden and crying. I am 14. I won gold medal in the inter school dance competition, but no one except my mom is happy about it. Dadi said I should learn cooking and stitching, only that will help me in future.

I am inside the labour room. Pain is unbearable now, I am sweating. Nurse helped me to lie down properly. Doctor is telling me to push.

I push the door with anger and entered my room. I came back from college when I heard Dadi telling my dad to start looking for my marriage. When I said I am just 18 now and I want to do my graduation first, she yelled at me. I got angry and shouted that they never care about my wishes, she slapped on my face.

Nurse is wiping sweat off my face and telling me to push. I am shouting and crying with pain and the doctor telling me “Come on you can do it. Try!! ”.

“Please beta, you have to do it.”  mom is crying. I am not happy to get married at an age of 19. This is a forced marriage. I want to study and make my career but dad and dadi are against it. They feel girl should get married as early as possible and look after their family. Education and career is not important for them.

I never felt such pain ever in my life before. Nurse and doctor are telling me to push. I am exhausted.

I am feeling weak and very tired. Yesterday I had abortion. My mother in law and husband don’t want a daughter. They forced me for sonography and killed my baby girl against my wish before she can open her eyes in this world.

I am pushing with all the energy I have. Giving birth to a new life is like rebirth for a woman. From the time I conceived this baby my husband and mother in law tried many times to find the sex of my baby, but due to new strict rule from government against this they were not able to find it.

I am pregnant again and I am fed up with my mother in law’s prayers for a boy child. She curses me day and night for conceiving a girl child last time. Today even I lost my temper and told her to stop cursing me for that. She raised her hand to slap me but I stopped her. My husband saw all this and hit me ruthlessly. They told me not to enter their house if I give birth to a girl.

I am fully exhausted but all my pain vanished after seeing my child. I have never seen something so small and beautiful. Yes, she is my beautiful doll. My mom comes inside the room, I asked her about my husband and mother in law. As excepted they were very angry and left the hospital. My mom is crying, she is worrying about my future because my husband will not accept me now. But I am happy. I am happy to hold my daughter in my arms and I feel great to hug her. I look at her innocent face, she doesn't even know that her father is not happy with her birth. But that does not matter me anymore. For me this is the happiest moment of my life. Now I want to study further and get some job. I kiss my girl and I promise her a beautiful life. She won’t live a life full of compromises and adjustments like I lived. I will give her good education and make her independent. I will make sure that she gets all the rights to live a successful life and enjoy her freedom.

PS:  This is my entry for the ‘Blogeshwar 2.0’ contest. And guess what, I won it :D

August 18, 2010

Email ( Part III )

Before reading this post author requests you to read part-I and part-II of this story. That will help you enjoy the story better.

11th August 2008

He had a hectic day in office and did not get much of time to chat with Shakshi. Night he was eating dinner when she called him.

He: Hey, I am so sorry dear. I was totally packed in office today. So how was your day?

Shakshi: Well, I am in the cab right now, going to the airport.

He: Airport? Where are you going? Are you going on some business trip?

Shakshi: I am going home (Dehradun). There is some urgency, my mom is not well. She wants me to be with her now. I will be back in five days.

He: Oh ok. Don’t worry everything will be alright. By the way you will be back by your Birthday?

Shakshi: Yes I will be. 

She was silent for few seconds and then continued. 

I won’t be available on my cell phone dear….. my family is little conservative, they won’t like me talking to a guy. I believe you understand my problem.

He somehow uttered a yes from his mouth. He was sad that for next few days he won’t be able to talk to her, but consoled himself by thinking about their meeting in person on the other side of the week. 

16th August 2008

He was all set to fly to Bangalore to meet his dream girl and confess his feelings. He got the ring he ordered for Shakshi and packed it in a beautiful heart shape box. As promised, he never called Shakshi in last five days. He was happy that next morning he will be able to see her beautiful face, as she was also coming back on the same day. 


17th August 2008

He reached Bangalore and as decided went to stay with his college friends. His friends were making plans to visit some pub that night and party, but he had some other plans. He waited for the birthday girl’s (Shakshi) call till afternoon and finally called her roommate Geeta. He explained Geeta about his motive behind this surprise visit and asked about Shakshi. And then what he heard from Geeta shattered his dreams. He was heartbroken to know that Shakshi won’t be coming back ever as she is getting married in next two days. He was betrayed but he cannot blame Shakshi because she was completely unaware of his feelings. 

21st August 2008  
He was back to Mumbai but had not recovered from the grief yet. He didn’t even go to office from the time he came back from Bangalore. His roommates were trying hard to cheer him up but such pain comes from within and gets cured with time only. He was sitting alone near the window, gazing at the sky. He was trying to forget everything but all the good time spent with Shakshi was coming back to his mind again and again. He closed his eyes and a drop of tear rolled down his cheek. “She did not cheat me. It was me who dreamed about her. Three days passed, she must be married by now. May be we were not destined to be together. I should be happy for her and move ahead in life.” He consoled himself. The urge of getting over this chapter of life was strong this time. He made up his mind and stood from there.

Came back with a cup of coffee and sat to check his emails, its long time he didn’t check them. Inbox was flooded with emails. He gave a quick glance to find any important email, when his eyes stuck on Shakshi’s email. This was written on 16th August 2008 at 9:34 pm (the night before her birthday). He wished he could have read it on same day, and then life would have been different.

Hi Dear,

Long time right… I hope you doing good there. But I am surrounded with many problems. You know that my father passed away long back and my mom was not keeping well in recent days, which is why they called me home. Mom is recovering now, but she wants to see my marriage before she dies. My brother has selected a guy for me; he has a big business here. Everyone is happy for my marriage except me. Because I like someone else, I like you. I know this is not the right way but I have no other choice. I am not sure, but I felt it many times that you too have same feelings for me. I am missing you badly. I miss your sweet goodnight messages, our stupid fights on movie reviews, your sweet voice, I miss everything about you. And this feeling only motivated me to write this email.

I can’t call you as I am always surrounded by relatives and my mobile phone is not with me. Somehow I am writing this email to you. I am not forcing you, but if you too feel the same for me. I am ready to leave all this and live rest of my life with you.

If you love me too then do reply for this email as soon as possible. But if you do not have such feelings for me then just don’t reply. I will understand and move forward with whatever life offers me and won’t trouble you in future ever.


August 15, 2010

Email ( Part -II )

Before reading this post author requests you to read part-1 of this story. That will help you enjoy the story better.

28th April 2008

He was quite free in office. He took a hot cup of coffee and logged in to his personal mail account. He was surprised and happy to see Shakshi online. He came to know that she took leave from office because she was not well. That day he was online all the time and gave company to Shakshi. They talked about their likes dislikes and came to know that they have many similarities. They both like butterscotch ice-cream, gulab jamun, old bollywood songs and to top it all both of them like rain. Three hours flew like few seconds. 

Shakshi: Ok, It was really nice talking to you. And thank you so much for the company. I will be logging out now. My roommate is back from office.

He: The pleasure is all mine. And it was fun talking to an intelligent and beautiful girl. Ok give me your mobile number; I will call you once I am at home.

He was shocked by himself for asking a girl's number whom he knew from just one and half day. There was no reply from other side. “Shit! Looks like I made her upset. She will think I am just another flirt asking for her number.” 

After some two minutes he turned towards his monitor and saw message from shakshi. It was her mobile number. “Yes!” he shouted with excitement.


He was lying on bed after dinner and his roommates were watching TV in hall. He took his cell phone and sent a good night message to Shakshi. Five minutes passed and no reply came.  “May be she slept already.” He turned off the bedside lamp and was about to sleep when his cell phone rang. 

He saw Shakshi’s name flashing on screen. Before he can say anything a girl started blasting on him from other side for sending SMS and disturbing her at night. He was puzzled by Shakshi’s behavior. The safest thing he could think of was to apologies, he said sorry but got baffled hearing some girls giggle. 

“Hey, Shakshi here. We girls were playing prank on you. Hope you didn’t mind.”

He smiled “Oh no! No I don’t mind”. He liked Shakshi’s sweet and soft voice.

Now it was a routine for them to chat in morning and talk over phone till late night. His roommates started teasing him that Shakshi is his girlfriend, for which he used to laugh and say they are just good friends but inside he used to enjoy these teasing. 

3rd May 2008

On Saturday evening they were chatting when he expressed his wish to see her. Some 15 minutes later he saw an email from Shakshi, she was offline by then. He used to say that they are just good friends but before opening the email he prayed to god that she should look like the girl in his imagination. The picture took some time to load and anticipation was killing him until he saw his dream girl on the screen. She was fair with big black eyes and pink small lips. Her hairs were long, straight and silky and her red t-shirt was enhancing her beauty. He kept on staring at the picture until his roommates called him for tea.


Four months passed from the time they knew each other. By now talking over phone, chatting and sending SMS was an everyday affair between them. He had feelings for Shakshi but he was shy to confess them to her. However with motivation from his roommates he planned to visit Shakshi next month. He wanted to give her a surprise by proposing her on her birthday. He was extremely excited about this surprise visit, and was counting days for the same. He used to practice in front of mirror whatever he wanted to tell Shakshi while proposing her. He was not sure what gift he should give to his dream girl but wanted to present her the best. Rupesh suggested him for soft toys and Sanjeev felt chocolates and red roses will suit the occasion. But he was not convinced, he wanted to give her something which she can keep with her always and the gift should remind her of him all the time. Finally he settled down for a ring. He ordered for a ring with ‘S’ printed on it. He was busy preparing for the big day of his life while on the other side Shakshi was completely unaware of this. Days were flying and Shakshi’s birthday was just after a week. 

To be continued ...... here

PS: Do come back to find out what happened on Shakshi's birthday.

August 13, 2010

Email ( Part - I )

27th April 2008

On that lazy Sunday afternoon he was all alone in the room. His roomies were out for a weekend trip with other friends and he failed to join them due to office work. Rupesh and Sanjeev (his roomies) called him sometime back and said they are having lots of fun; He cursed his manager who allocated him work even on Saturday. He switched on the TV to get rid of the boredom and frustration of missing out the fun trip.

“Sigh! No good program on weekends” and he switched it off. Thought he will chat with someone and switched on his laptop. “Hmmm, so many stupid promotional mails, I should delete them all” He was about to press the delete button when he saw this mail. He felt the urge to read this mail before deleting it. And the mail was like this.

Hey Baby,

Long time…. How you doing??? I got your mail id from shikha. Add me to your chat list and send me your contact number or call me. My mobile number is still same.


His gray cells were active by then to recall anyone named Shakshi. He failed to fetch that data out of his big brain and decided to add that email id and find out who she is. “Anyhow I am getting bored now, and more over if I get to talk to a girl it will be fun only.” a crooked smile on his face this time. To his surprise Shakshi was online in no time.

“Wow! She accepted my invite. Should I ping her or wait for her to make a move.” He was in dilemma when this window popped up. He saw ‘Hi’ from Shakshi and greeted her with a ‘Hello’.

Shakshi: I am so sorry for the trouble. Actually your email id and my friend’s email id are very much similar. I mistaken while noting that down from other friend. Sorry for the inconvenience.

He was still forming an impressive reply for her.

Shakshi: Anyways, I will logout now. I will remove your ID from my chat list. Sorry again and good bye.

“No, I don’t want her to go” without wasting a single second he typed “hey”.

Shakshi: yes…

He: It’s ok. Don’t be sorry. That wasn’t your fault, it happens. And you can keep my name in your chat list if you want, I have no issues   :)

Shakshi: :)

Smiles came from both sides and the conversation picked up pace. Shakshi said that she lives in Bangalore with her friend Geeta, and works for an MNC as a CA. Her native town was Dehradun. He told her how he got stuck with the work and missed his trip. He told her that he works in Mumbai as a software developer and was born and bought up at Bhopal. They talked so much that none of them felt that they were complete stranger to each other sometime back. Four hours passed and the conversation was on until Shakshi logged out saying that her roommate wants her company for shopping.

He was alone again, but happy this time. Shakshi seemed intelligent and smart by the conversation. He made a mental picture of her. And was really happy to get a new friend but he missed to ask for her mobile number. What if she removes him from her chat list? How he will contact her in future.

To be continued ....... here
PS : Do come back to know if He talked to Shakshi again or not? :)


August 4, 2010

Wordless Wednesday -2

August 1, 2010

Friends Forever

This post has been submitted for Friends Forever under Blogadda's Win this Wednesday contest.

Friendship is a unique relation, as rightly said by a French poet “Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends”. We know the history of human evolution, civilization and how the family system started. But I feel that friendship existed before family system came into existence. Even then human needed some company, which he got in the form of a friend. Even in Ramayana and Mahabharata we see many strong friendship bonds like Sri.Kishana and Sudama, Sri.Rama and Sugreeva, Sri.Rama and Vibeeshana, Karna and Duryodhana. There are so many great examples of friendship in old and recent times.

We all have our share of friends and so do I. I am a people’s person so I have always been blessed with many friends. From kindergarten till now (4 years of professional career) I made many friends. Wikipedia says “friendship is a bond where people always desire the best for each other, have empathy and understanding. They are honest to each other and give emotional support whenever needed.” But I feel we explore different meaning and sides of friendship as life progresses. I have a faded memory of my kindergarten time, but still I remember I used to sit with this girl Vibha in my class and she was my friend. As that time to me friend was, with whom I sit in class, with whom I share my lunch box, pencil, eraser and all. I had few more friends too but now I can only recall Vibha as we two met again during our 10+2 and are still in touch.

The meaning of friend remained same for me until I met my best friend Jyoti in Std 4. We used to sit together, eat lunch together, and play games together. When we learnt letter writing and in assignment we were suppose to write letter to our best friend, we sent letters to each other. We were competitors in class for first position but that never affected our friendship. I was very much involved in extracurricular activities, and that time she used to help me to cover the portions I miss in the class. We were together all the time and so our classmates used to call us chipko movement. Now for me Friendship was not just sharing but also caring.

During high school friendship was more of grouping and hanging out together. We were group of nine girls. We used to do lots of masti, used to play pranks and many girls became our victim. With all my friends, going to school was so much fun that we use to miss school on Sundays. After joining the junior college we choose different disciplines and our group broke, but we were still there for each other whenever needed. That is the age when we see many physical and emotional changes in our self and so our friends during that part of life influence us a lot. Then I learnt that during that phase of life friendship was not only sharing, caring, musti and dhamal but also supporting, correcting each other and guiding. In that age many times our parents can’t understand our problems that well as our friends can do. I must say I was blessed with extremely caring and loving friends. They not only shared their notes with me but also took care of me whenever I fell sick during our industrial visits and other camping. They not only stood with me while playing pranks on others but also stood strong with me whenever I did some blunder.

Many say that the golden ray of friendship vanishes with the start of professional life. There you see only cut-throat competition and backstabbing. And if it’s true then I may be very lucky, as in workplace also I always found very good friends. We always had a balance between our work and friendship. It was my office friends who landed their helping hand always to make me feel like home away from home. Now friendship is not just sharing, caring, masti-dhamal, supporting, guiding but an extended family too.

This is how with life I have explored the meaning of friendship and I won’t be surprised if it still has some more colours to show me. But there is one thing which remained same in all age or time, and that is the unconditional love among friends. That is the soul of every friendship. That is what keeps the connection live between friends who live in two different parts of world.

A good friend is our nearest relation and to get a good friend we have to be one first. I feel honoured to have so many friends and I feel blessed that I am still in contact with many of them. And hence I thought of giving this tribute to all my lovely and darling friends on this friendship day and take a chance to say thanks for all the love and support they gave me. I love you all. Muahh…. Happy friendship day to you all.  :)

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