Sugarfree Lovers

August 21, 2010

Freedom

Pain is increasing. I see my mom walking next to my stretcher. She is telling me that everything will be alright. I am not able to bear the pain and I shout.


“Aauch… Dadi ma it’s hurting” I am 8 and my grandmother is pinching my ear for playing football with boys in my colony. She thinks I should not play outdoor games, if I fall and get marks on my body then no one will marry me.


They have changed me into an open gown and now taking me to the labour room. I am crying in pain.


I am sitting in the garden and crying. I am 14. I won gold medal in the inter school dance competition, but no one except my mom is happy about it. Dadi said I should learn cooking and stitching, only that will help me in future.


I am inside the labour room. Pain is unbearable now, I am sweating. Nurse helped me to lie down properly. Doctor is telling me to push.


I push the door with anger and entered my room. I came back from college when I heard Dadi telling my dad to start looking for my marriage. When I said I am just 18 now and I want to do my graduation first, she yelled at me. I got angry and shouted that they never care about my wishes, she slapped on my face.


Nurse is wiping sweat off my face and telling me to push. I am shouting and crying with pain and the doctor telling me “Come on you can do it. Try!! ”.


“Please beta, you have to do it.”  mom is crying. I am not happy to get married at an age of 19. This is a forced marriage. I want to study and make my career but dad and dadi are against it. They feel girl should get married as early as possible and look after their family. Education and career is not important for them.


I never felt such pain ever in my life before. Nurse and doctor are telling me to push. I am exhausted.


I am feeling weak and very tired. Yesterday I had abortion. My mother in law and husband don’t want a daughter. They forced me for sonography and killed my baby girl against my wish before she can open her eyes in this world.


I am pushing with all the energy I have. Giving birth to a new life is like rebirth for a woman. From the time I conceived this baby my husband and mother in law tried many times to find the sex of my baby, but due to new strict rule from government against this they were not able to find it.


I am pregnant again and I am fed up with my mother in law’s prayers for a boy child. She curses me day and night for conceiving a girl child last time. Today even I lost my temper and told her to stop cursing me for that. She raised her hand to slap me but I stopped her. My husband saw all this and hit me ruthlessly. They told me not to enter their house if I give birth to a girl.


I am fully exhausted but all my pain vanished after seeing my child. I have never seen something so small and beautiful. Yes, she is my beautiful doll. My mom comes inside the room, I asked her about my husband and mother in law. As excepted they were very angry and left the hospital. My mom is crying, she is worrying about my future because my husband will not accept me now. But I am happy. I am happy to hold my daughter in my arms and I feel great to hug her. I look at her innocent face, she doesn't even know that her father is not happy with her birth. But that does not matter me anymore. For me this is the happiest moment of my life. Now I want to study further and get some job. I kiss my girl and I promise her a beautiful life. She won’t live a life full of compromises and adjustments like I lived. I will give her good education and make her independent. I will make sure that she gets all the rights to live a successful life and enjoy her freedom.




PS:  This is my entry for the ‘Blogeshwar 2.0’ contest. And guess what, I won it :D


49 comments:

Garf said...

It was hard-hitting post. I loved the way you jumbled the different aspects. Is this something true or is at a blogger with an imagination..am curious as i am back after a big break.

Azad said...

I loved the way in which you took us readers in Flashback mode!
Great post!
Hope you win the contest!

Cheers :)

Sweta said...

hey Graf,

This is purely blogger imagination. But this is influenced by what blogger saw, heard and read from different sources at different time. So this post not belongs to just one person, It is the replication of Indian society.

Sweta said...

Azad,

Thanks for your wishes :)

Garf said...

@Sweta: In that case, your composition deserves admiration.
The country is still hopeless !!!

Sweta said...

Thanks Garf :)

Reshma said...

A reflection of the society, really well translated into a post.Your posts are indicating that you are growing as a blogger. Well done!!
Its still indeed a long road and tough journey ahead for the girl-child to be heartily accepted by the society as a worthy living being...

Gyanban © said...

Hey this is a sensitive post very nicely done.
Good stuff.

Purba said...

Very touching and loved how you switched between the past and present.

Sweta said...

@Reshma: Very true. A girl child has to go a long long way to get what she deserves.

@Gyanban: Thanks alot :)

@Purba: Thank you so much :)

Vivek Patwardhan said...

Well written post, read with tears in my eyes! Well written but very disturbing; so it has served its purpose, very effective in telling its message.
Vivek

Nasia said...

Nice way of presentation.. i especially liked the playing with guys part..

Things are changing now for the better.. In kerala girls are equally stressed to study well.. and superbly stressed for that matter ;)

Hope this happens in the whole of india soon

miltan said...

A thought provoking story told and re-told from several different perspectives & nice write up.
Best of Luck.
Ishwar tujhe blogeshwar contest me safalta dilaye.

Sweta said...

@Vivek: Thanks :)

@Nasia: that's great. I hope things change for better in whole India and the world too.

@Miltan: Tathastu :D

Aneesh said...

AWESOME......!!!!!!!!
story is narrated in a nice way.......

Hemal Shah said...

Uff!! this one was indeed painful...

let me tell you something girl, i liked the way you put the different aspects of your life. The creed for a baby boy and the jungle of obsessional families in India is too much a pain.

Indian mindset is different than almost every other country. I have post too on different lines.

Sweta said...

@Aneesh: Thanks alot :)

@Hemal: Thanks Hemal. Indian mindset and many other under developed or developing countries mindset is same.... it will change with the flow of development and education.

Hemal Shah said...

never will it change... I am sure about it.. trust me, I have seen staunch people who go by their faith to set things in their lives... a couple who are looking for an alliance for their daughter rejecting a guy just coz he didnt mention whether he goes to temple or not! how lame things can be?

Sweta said...

Well that's Indian mindset my friend..... But In urban society things are changing so I hope one day India will think bigger then cast, religion, old customs... and we will get real freedom.

Hemal Shah said...

well the incident i am talking about had happened in mumbai.. so well, i guess its not very much happening as it is expected...

Unknown!!! said...

"memento" style post..nice read..ya hope you win the contest..good luck..

your sidebar is not clear..the font and the background color..dont match..I can hardly read anything...

Sweta said...

Thanks Unknown,

Regarding the sidebar... I should change my blog template again looks like.

surysingh said...

Super Stuff :) Loved the style!

Sushant Shekhar said...

The style! Awesome! The content..especially in the last para...Touching! The naivety of the 8 year old, "no one will marry me"..very cute!..A nice read indeed:)

Sweta said...

@Surya: Thanks a lot :)

@Shushant: Thank you :)

MangoManBunty said...

I just love the non-linear style! Sooper.

Mayank said...

Nice post.. loved the flashback style Sweta :)

Azad said...

Hey Sweta!
You are the BLOGESHWAR 2.0
I tried contacting you on fb (being the evil mind behind the concept) but there was no option to leave a message. Added you as a friend thr. Will coordinate their for your new domain name.

Many congratulations!

Cheers
Himanshu
www.himanshushekhar.com

Mag[m] said...

Hey such a heart touching post....i hardly read any emotional stories but this one make me feel so worthily and shaking...

filled with an strange feeling , gud one sweta...

Sweta said...

@Mangoman, Mayank, Mag: Thanks alot :)

@Azad: wow.... Thanks a ton. :D
First time I won some Blogging contest.... Happy :D

Ashesh Raghav said...

A blog on such an obsolete topic can be so thought provoking. Never imagined. Beautiful post. And yes, Congrats on being Blogeshwar 2.0

Vikram Karve said...

Superbly written... a deserving winner... Congrats...!!!

Sweta said...

@Ashesh :Thanks alot :)

@Vikram : Thanks alot :)

S.Pradeep Kumar said...

Hey, just read your post through Blogeshwar. Good one!! Congo!

And thanks for your comment on my blog post "HOW TO: Make Girls Accept Your Facebook Friend Requests"

Cheers :)

Lakshmi Rajan said...

That was a great narrative swing plus the script :)

CraZyFUNDU said...

congrats..!!
touching story..unique style of story telling..

Sweta said...

@S.Pradeep: Thank you :)

@Lakshmi Rajan: Thanks alot :)

@CraZyFUNDU :Thanks alot :)

nikita said...

You had to win girl !!! such wonderful post !!

the wonderful contrast and similarity in lines...the pain and grief of the girl who was expected to sacrifice everytime...
i am totally swept away by this wonderful piece i just read...

hats off

abhishek said...

congrats for blogeshwar 2.0
nice story but there's a flow in the climax which has gone unnoticed.The in-laws were'nt able to find out the sex of the baby bcoz of strict govt. rules !.

But name any city were this is possible, i guess nowhere. Gender identification clinic are everywhere and is still being done behind curtains in cities as well as villages.

Ne ways itz jst a story and change in mindset n thought is more required rather than making laws and policies. If not this may be the generation coming nxt will change.

OP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OP said...

good one !!! blog contest jitne ki badhai .. :)

Jil said...

Congrats Sweta...
I like the way you narrated lloks some thing different and nice.
keep blogging !!Congrats again...

Sweta said...

@Nikki: Thanks girl :)

@Abhishek: First of all I am happy that my lil Brother commented on my blog for first time.... and thanks alot :)

@OP: Dhanyawaad OP ji :)

@Jil: Thanks Jil... :)

Swaroop said...

Congrats Swets, Nice shorty with a strong message.Although not new but still loved the alternating narrative style.

Subodh said...

Congrats!!!

But, I do not think that this really happen now-a-days.

Deguide said...

Long live the girl child, and your motherhood to bring up. It is sad that some communities are breeding only males.

maniac.hunter said...

very good post...nice weaving of stories..LONG LIVE GURL CHILD..
and the poeple against a gurl child forget they came into this world because of a girl :)

Ahimaaz Rajesh said...

Good story. Congrats that it won. It'd be nice if every conception involved twins, a girl and a boy, and we're well off to bring them up. Wishful thinking, but...

Vidya Govindan said...

Just Amazing.Nicely written and Congrats :-)

-Vidya (from IndiBlogger meet)

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