Sugarfree Lovers

July 6, 2019

Life Happens



In the summers of late 1980’s the first born boy of a well know north Indian Brahmin family got hitched to a beautiful first born girl of another well-known Brahmin Family. Summer was on its peak and so was their love and then after 9 months Life Happened and yours truly came into this world J
From childhood, I have been trained that I need to take the legacy of the first born to next level and show all the younger ones how to lead life. Not just my own siblings, my first cousins, my second, third, fourth cousins, my neighborhood kids, I was supposed to be the role model for everyone. 4 year old kid and so much pressure to perform, I became a perfect obedient child any parent would want. But that also made me an introvert. Or should I say I had split personality disorder, because I was a super fun child in school but very serious and studious kid at home. I was doing good in studies and well in co-curricular activities, teacher’s pet and a perfect role model, life was going fine for everyone until my parents decide to add some spice in my life.

They made me, the not so sporty girl to go in NCC (National Cadet Core), and like the obedient girl I was, I joined it for them. First time I stayed away from home for a week. Homesick and socked as we used to sleep on floor and bath inside a tent in a jungle, I was counting days to go back home. And on the final day, I came to know that this camp was the selection camp for basic leadership camp and I am selected for next camp which means I must live here for 10 more days.  My uncle who used to live in that same city was there to meet me, I was crying to go back home and hence he called my mom. She heard me out and asked me to give the phone to my uncle and told him, make sure she stays there and does not run back home. I was stunned, did my parents disowned me? Will I always live in this jungle?

Now I had only one way to survive, I must like what is there in front of me, accept it and move on. Therefore, I gave my 100% in those 10 days in all the assignments and activities we got to do. I tried to make friends so that my stay becomes comfortable. Soon I stared to like this whole thing and an introvert started to open-up. Next year I took part in republic day camp and represented my state in national. Won the nationals in rifle shooting and 1st runner up in best cadet nationwide. It was indeed a very proud moment for me and my family when I got to shake hands with our then prime minister Mr. Atal Bihari Bajpai. I returned home after 2 months as a very confident teenager, and that’s where life happened.

However, soon after that I had my boards and being the first born I had to do very well there, you see role model. And as an obedient kid from middle class Indian family, I went for engineering and became one J

Years flew, campus was done, I had a job offer in my hand, but patents decided to give a new twist in the tale. They wanted me to stay back home and look for some opportunity in my hometown, as they were worried how I will live alone in a big city. And I was shocked, are they not the same people who made sure I don’t come back home from that jungle. But I decided to do things my way this time and came to Bangalore. And life happened when parents saw me not just surviving in a new city alone but also living happily and doing well at work.

Years passed and now parents had an-other thing in their “TO DO list” which they were eager to tick out and hence started looking for alliance for me. In the search of same I met this snooty guy whom I hated in beginning and later fell for. Yes, life happened again to me in the most unexpected way and time.

By nature, Indians are very caring people. We care about what’s happening in other’s life more than what’s going on in our own. Hence now it was time for me to prove to the society that my reproductive system is working fine. On first day of my maternity break I was feeling so bored, I though let me go to a parlor and waste my hared earned money. Due date was still 15 days away but as expected, life happens to me when I expect it the least. I was rushed from a massage room to the labor room. And the most beautiful part of my life I lived that day amid all the madness which was going around.

Even now after all these years, the pressure of being the role model and perfect first born is still there. But the intensity has reduced over time. Now whenever I get to talk to my younger cousins, or colleagues and friends. I tell them that don’t be like anyone else, just be what you are. because you cannot control life you can only live life. And the most magical moments of your life will happen when you expect it the least. Moments which will change your perspective and thinking and make you a better and happier version of yourself. So you just keep living and let the life happen!

PS: This write-up was my Ice breaker speech in Toastmasters 

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